Someday we’ll look back on these times and laugh … so why not start now!?
By Daniel Robin
Two executives walk into a bar. One says to the other “I’ve been thinking. If you took over as CEO, I could retire early.” The other executive responds, “Sure, dear, but not until after we put the kids to bed.”
(What? Oh, I get it … that’s like a joke, but not as funny. What matters is that now we’ve opened up the door for something funnier to come along. As the saying goes, “you can’t fall off the floor.”)
Humor’s Risks and Rewards
When humor can be used to bridge gaps, relieve tension, or add enjoyment to work relationships, everyone benefits. When it is used to mask true feelings — often the case with sarcasm — or, when cultural and style differences lead to misinterpretation, there’s likely a cost.
Is humor part of your natural style? If so, let’s check out how to manage the risks of having fun. If not, that’s okay … I hear they pay pretty well at the DMV (oops, there goes my license).
Being PC in a World That Isn’t
Being politically correct in a world of political hypocracy and madness can be quite a trick. In the past, if someone or something was different from us, we’d tend to make fun — a natural (though perhaps immature) response. How do you currently deal with people or events you don’t understand?
Nowadays, diversity and gender sensitivity training asks that we respect and value the differences. Still, because old attitudes often die slowly, expect a gap between this espoused theory and daily practice. Can humor fill this gap? It can if you’re willing to risk and learn.
I Don’t Get It … Is that a Joke?
For starters, if someone seems humor impaired (oh, excuse me, that’s “levity challenged”), assume it’s you that needs to lighten up, not them. In effect, they’re not lacking a sense of humor … it’s just that you haven’t yet found a way to get past the guard dog to tickle that soft underbelly. Keep trying (or pick on someone else’s underbelly), paying close attention to the responses you get. Remember: a blank stare or no response is a response.
If the other person is noticeably upset, walk softly (and carry a big schtick? No. Be careful.). Initially match their mood or energy level. If you can’t tell where they’re coming from, ask. Putting yourself at choice in your use of humor is key to minimizing the risks. If you offend, learn from it. Apologize. This type of open exchange can, ironically, encourage healthier and more honest interactions.
Taking the Heat Off
When someone has a big problem with something you did (or didn’t do), humor offers an effective alternative to either brushing them off, being defensive, or caving in. For example, if you just kept someone waiting, what if you say “I was abducted by aliens.” That’s probably better than saying “You messed up, you trusted me,” or “Boy, some people never learn….” When in doubt, make fun of yourself.
The important thing is to show that you have a sense of humor and are willing to use it. Yes, if you go overboard with humor you might get yourself labeled a goof or “loose cannon.” (So what do they know?! You can always just blow up their office.) There are times, however, when kidding around can be a tremendous asset, a compassionate and effective diplomatic tool. At other times, instead of being “nice,” it might be more helpful to just be “real.”
Humor is a tool, not a weapon. You’ll know you’re on the right track when the times are fun and the flies laugh more than they hurt. Or something like that….
