Gripe to Grip — part 2 of 3
By Daniel Robin
Most of the workplaces I’ve known are in a state of perpetual chaos and disrepair … they are immense and never-ending exercises in surfacing dramatic problems and (in some cases) actually solving them. By contrast, highly bureaucratic or rigid organizations simply do not allow problems (denial anyone?). However, allowing personal attacks, emotional overwhelm, or whining endlessly doesn’t help either.
There’s a balance point between chaos and order, bureaucracy and anarchy, and the key to handling problems comes from involving employees as if that negativity is stored potential for organizational improvement – as if there’s a positive intention behind even the most annoying critical comment or seemingly irrelevant complaint.
As Tracy Kennedy from Lifehack.org (2018) points out, there is a good reason and positive intention for each of the basic emotions, both positive and negative:
- Anger: to fight against problems
- Fear: to protect us from danger
- Anticipation: to look forward and plan
- Surprise: to focus on new situations
- Joy: to remind us what’s important
- Sadness: to connect us with those [people or situations] we love(d)
- Trust: to connect with people who help
- Disgust: to reject what is unhealthy.
Indeed, research suggests that the human side of handling workplace negativity – skill and diplomacy with people – is even more important than the perfect business plan or strategy.
At best, skillfully dealing with negativity in others can be challenging and fun – if criticism, crankiness and complaints are shaped into a constructive forum for change. At worst, if left unstructured, such negativity can be frustrating and painful to be around. Don’t let it cause you to “go negative” as opposition usually just gets more of both parties do not want.
Perhaps the goal is to complain and criticize constructively – without casting blame, without adding interpersonal friction to the catalog of work-related roadblocks – so you can get intended messages across and get breakthrough results. This column outlines a series of practical tips to get at the fun and payoff while skipping that other stuff.
Dealing with Habit Negatizers
Although people who focus on the negative to the exclusion of all else have a hard time staying employed, they do occasionally land in a workplace that happens to include you. With a reputation as a troublemaker or a complainer, they aren’t likely to be taken seriously (which, ironically, reinforces their negative predisposition). Pick a moment when they aren’t completely bent to offer these suggestions:
- Pick the largest and most important issue, and compartmentalize the rest. Writing down all the dislikes and putting the entire list in “storage” seems to help.
- Define the problem or issue. Perhaps this effort alone will help put things in perspective.
- See if anyone else shares the concern. Suggest that they bounce the topic off others –preferably neutral sounding boards – before escalating or developing a proposal to management. Build constituency and avoid going to the boss solo unless the issue is personal or personnel-related. If there’s baseline support for the idea, …
- Develop a proposal that defines the problem (with supporting evidence based more in objective fact than in opinion), and outline a goal with two or more ways to reach it.
- Make an appointment to present and discuss the proposal and get feedback.
Encourage them to find creative ways of venting and clearing layers of frustration out of the way, first, so they don’t “poison their pond” at work. Negatizers pay a huge price for emotional seepage – far greater than they probably realize.
So, rather than griping or complaining (“You know what bugs me the most?!”), make it constructive (“With these changes, we’ll get far better results because ….”).
If we assume that people are already motivated to do productive work, then we need only structure the day-to-day environment and interact respectfully to unleash this vast ocean of human energy – to rise above the problems – to accomplish great things with ease.
Next article: ending the blame game.
