How often do you find yourself using these five strategies for dealing with anger?
Rate each statement on the left using a scale from 1 to 10 (1 = never, 10 = every time):
Score |
Approach |
Increase |
Decrease |
| DIRECT: I get angry and decide to “go off” (express anger or the fact that you are angry) right on the spot. | |||
| REFLECTIVE: I take time to reflect on the source of what upset me before doing anything. | |||
| ACCEPTING: There are times when I experience anger or frustration that I can consciously choose to release, deliberately letting go of it.If you’ve ever had a time when you wanted to let it go but it wouldn’t leave, what did you do then? (hint: see the next two options below) | |||
| CONFRONTIVE: After reflecting on the source of what upset me, I deal directly and skillfully with the person or situation that caused my anger. | |||
| SIDESTEP: I use healthy outlets for expressing anger – instead of directly addressing the person or taking it out on the people around me (e.g., sports, exercise, screaming in the car, chopping wood, hitting pillows or other inanimate objects,…). | |||
| OVERALL: My normal emotional state is peaceful, calm and centered. I do not carry around “habit anger” (unfinished business); I maintain my cool. |
Now take a look at your scores. If there’s one that is particularly higher or lower than the others, use the boxes at the right to indicate the approach to anger you’d like to increase or decrease. What would you like the score to be? How will you practice?
Feel free to print out this template for future reference.
