By Daniel Robin
“Hey, the boss is all upset,” reports Todd, looking a bit worried.
Curious to know what Todd observed, Nancy asks “How do you know the boss is all upset?”
“Well,” Todd explains, “I just saw her jumping up and down and pounding her fists on the desk. I’d say that means we’re in trouble.”
“Relax …,” says Nancy in reassuring tones, “that’s just the way she gets after eating lunch with creepy Bob.”
So, what about Bob? Why did Bob upset the boss? And why did the boss go out to lunch with him again if he’s such a creep? Any ideas? Think about it for just a moment.
Did you form an opinion about it just now? We don’t really know the circumstances, and yet notice how quickly and easily many of us get hooked into interpreting. Just like Nancy asked Todd for the basis of his interpretation (that the boss was upset), when would we benefit from obtaining the “facts” that led up to a conclusion?
Information from Outer Space
How do we get information anyway? The highest ‘quality’ information is from direct experience — what we observe using our sense perception. Second best is a report from someone about it.
There are two ways of talking about an experience: (1) describing exactly what you saw, heard, or felt, and (2) describing your reaction, interpretation, or opinion about what you saw or heard. Both ways are valuable. The skill is to distinguish between actual perceptions and your conclusions about them. This is the same difference as observation versus inference, or fact versus opinion.
In your work, when would misinterpretation (either yours or theirs) cost you? When would mistaking interpretation for fact lead to trouble, wasted time, extra effort?
Have you noticed that people’s interpretations often do not match? The real problem occurs, however, when someone (or an entire group) is lost in an interpretation about something that has little or no factual basis. If people will tell you what they observed (what they personally heard and saw) and what they think it means (their interpretation), then you have stronger information to use for verifying and in checking out the interpretations.
Mistaking interpretations for facts is one of the most common and insidious communication errors. No matter how much data we gather, people can and often do misinterpret that data. And since there’s not much we can do about that (except learn from it), a better way to manage the information flow is to notice the tendency to get hooked into interpretation when the situation is emotional or threatening to us.
How Can You Learn to Unhook?
When the situation is highly charged, practice shifting your attention to the facts, and the charge will lessen. This is particularly useful, for example, when giving concrete feedback in performance reviews, delegating a difficult task or making clear requests, and gathering third-party information on a situation of importance.
So, when the other person is hooked, ask “What did you see and hear that led you to that conclusion?” If, on the other hand, you’re getting just the facts, ma’am, ask “Based on that evidence, what interpretation do you make?”. When you’re the one giving the report, say “I noticed [describe behavior] … and I interpret it to mean….”
Getting lost in interpretation is as common and nearly as dangerous as zoning out while driving. If you’d like to avoid head-ons, practice shifting your attention to the facts, practice asking for people’s opinion when they’re drowning you in a sea of data, and practice giving both types of information to prevent being ‘seduced’ by the road.
