Interpersonal Strategies for Leading Transitions
By Daniel Robin
Part 1 in this series focused on how change affects us personally, and what can be done to make the most of it. This article highlights interpersonal strategies for handling all forms of transitions — from minuscule to life-bending. Part 3 delves into organizational strategies for leading change.
Change Ain’t What It Used to Be
Have you noticed that we live in obnoxiously turbulent times? Our most familiar navigational equipment only works when we have time to figure out where we are now. We need a new compass!
Corporate restructuring has made job security an oxymoron, and a search for meaning and value — no longer just a way to “earn a living” — raising the bar on job satisfaction.
Transitions can serve as a focal point to improve morale, increase commitment, and gain mutual understanding to “make sense” out of much confusion. However, in practice, when left “out of the loop” people tend to hallucinate the worst, stress out, and totally miss the potential benefits. (The next article in this series describes ways to include and involve people that help nip this needless suffering in the bud.)
Change = Danger + Opportunity
Upon hearing news of change, how do people react? A trick is to accept that there will be a wide range of reactions, some positive, some negative, based more on perception and emotion than on anything that actually makes sense. There are no formulas!
When we guide people to accept and embrace their unique reaction — everything from anger and resistance, sorrow and grief … to relief, abundant energy and enthusiasm — we are performing a powerful and valuable service to others. By giving room to tell the truth, we also bring people into alignment with the change effort itself while giving them no easy target to push up against.
If you work with humans, chances are good they’ll need to vent or blow off any gritty feelings — the “blame frame” — an essential and often misunderstood part of every transition. For instance, if someone temporarily goes into resistance and anger, that doesn’t mean they’re picking a fight. Or that they’re just being difficult. It probably means they are experiencing some sense of fear or loss or both and this is their (uniquely human) way of working through it.
“… Stay Seated Until the Plane Returns to Its Original Upright Position”
Like emergency landing instructions on an airplane, first take care of your own oxymoron (I mean, oxygen mask), then assist others. If you initially help yourself in moving through change as rapidly as you can, you free up your personal resources and energy, and in so doing make yourself available to help free up theirs.
Here are three moves that also happen to take the sting out of change when communicating with others. They are: (1) Acceptance, (2) Understanding, and (3) Agreement. Here’s how it works: First with yourself, then by encouraging others to …
(1) accept the change at face value. Don’t evaluate or argue about it. Not now. Let go of any tendency to “make it all better” for them, to give advice, or to “should” on a person’s reaction. Instead, be a model of acceptance. Lightly and unconditionally notice or document the known facts about what will be different. Give them room to have their reaction, perhaps mirror or amplify it, then …
(2) actively understand what in heaven’s name the change means. This phase could take awhile. Brainstorm several possible interpretations to “what could it mean?” before selecting one. Verify that you have mutual understanding, then begin to look, listen, and …
(3) lead toward an agreement, based on your thorough understanding of how the change will affect you, others, and the organization. This third step may involve some negotiation or fine-tuning of existing agreements. If you get disagreement, focus on accepting and understanding the resistance
If there’s no room to negotiate or discuss it, at least you can come to an agreement with yourself (“Okay, I’m going to begin leaving the office at a reasonable hour.” or “I’m going to make this project work miracles within 6 months.”)
Change is Good … But It Sure Ain’t Easy
In case this all sounds easy, let me acknowledge, with all due respect, that change is definitely not easy. These three moves give you and others something constructive to focus on while emotions are still running their course. If you employ the accept-understand-agree strategy, you and others will move through the transition with minimal frustration and maximum benefit.
